Have I mentioned one of my favorite new past-times?
It’s called the “try-all-of-your-old-clothes-on-and-see-what-new-things-you-can-fit-in-to” hobby, and it is a personal favorite of mine.
Tonight, my friends, did not disappoint.
An old pair of Calvin Klein chino’s, that I haven’t been able to wear since my days of running 4-7miles/day, several days a week.
Put those on tonight and did a little happy dance right then and there!
They are a tad snugger (yes, I do realize that “snugger” is not a word!) than I want them to be, but I cannot imagine it will take me any longer than a month to get them where I want them….which is safely on my person, allowing me to enjoy life while wearing an “oldy-but-goody” pair of pants.
There are nights when I absolutely have to pinch myself, just to ensure that this transformation is really happening.
Tonight was one of those nights.
I told my mom that I constantly have to remind myself that there is no fear of this going away.
Trim Healthy Mama is not going bust, bankrupt, or out of business……and if they did?
Absolutely n-o-t-h-I-n-g would change for me.
Nothing would change because this really has nothing to do with anything more than me learning a new way to pair my food groups.
That is honestly it.
I finally feel like I have found a way of eating that I can maintain for the rest of my life, and that my friends, is NO small thing to me.
I have often wondered, “why did I feel so compelled to blog about this area of my life?”
I’ve given it a lot of thought and want to simply say: Because this is really one of the single most vulnerable areas of my life. My weight has been a struggle for years and years. Something that I have honestly felt tremendous amounts of pain and insecurity from.
I know this topic quite well.
I don’t think I am alone.
Look around….most of us are overweight.
This is something that very much affects the majority, NOT the minority.
What I am about to share may sound crazy to some, but I am honestly okay with that. I want to share it because I think it’s important.
A few years ago I asked The Lord one night what He had to say about my weight struggle. It’s something that has weighed heavily on my heart for a very long time (no pun intended…haha!). Anyhow, I sat for a long time, just quietly waiting, yearning to hear something…anything. I don’t know how long of time passed, but after awhile I began to realize that an interesting image was on my mind. I felt as if my mind was just wandering due to what I had mistaken as silence (how often am I guilty of that?!), but I began to zone in on it and realized that what was on my mind was one of those desert mirage-type images of water. You know the ones…like from the movies where people are wandering thru the Sahara and think they see a huge body of water, but it turns out to be nothing?
What I felt like The Lord impressed on my heart that night was this: There are very real issues that I struggle with that I may be tempted to not address and deal with, due simply to the fact that I feel helpless in overcoming that area. They seem huge. They seem daunting. They seem to be non-budging….BUT….
(and it’s a BIG BUT!)
If I am willing to keep walking…..head-on, right into the very thing that I felt too weak to overcome, the time would come when I would see that that huge thing was nothing more than a desert mirage.
It really had no power at all because it was a total and complete facade.
When I read my Bible, I read that I am Christ’s masterpiece. I read that I am called to be free. I read the He who began a good work in ME….He will see it through. I am not hopeless, helpless, or at a place where I should despair.
Despair would be appropriate if I were still holding the reigns of my life….and (very thankfully!) I am not.
Sometimes, however, I spend years toiling and struggling with different “mirages” that threaten to consume and even define my life.
Worse yet, often I allow them to slow the pace of my life, sometimes re-routing myself entirely….having no idea that if I just kept pressing on….if I just kept walking steadfastly in that direction….the day would come when I would be able to look at that thing and declare that it had no power over me whatsoever.
My thought for the night? May we run head-on to attack areas of our lives that hold places of power that were never meant to be.
I still have a long ways to go….but freedom in this area is a new “taste” for me.
I don’t intend to ever let go of it…And THAT is very much a “joyful something” to me.